I’ve been questioned several times concerning what I post publicly about my private life and I understand why it would be a concern for many people. They want to make sure I have healed first, that I am prepared to deal with responses, that I am looking out for the other people involved, etc. I get it. I have even questioned the timing of all this myself, to which my spiritual brother, Pastor David Burrus responded, “Jesus called Peter out of the boat to walk on water in the middle of a storm.”
God’s specific instructions to me were that I would write openly about my process of healing while I am still in the process because people need to see it. I also made a vow to God about 10 years ago that He could use anything that I’ve experienced. No matter what it is, if He wants me to talk about it to help and encourage someone else, I will do it. I take that vow seriously, because I know the enemy counts on us keeping secrets and hidden shame because that gives him ample space to play and manipulate.
Not everyone is called to walk in this place of public pain – not that I think many people would want it, but I know God has given me grace to do this. I’m also aware that I’ve been blessed with so much support just out of my willingness to share – and it’s the kind of support that you really cannot measure.
For example, I was at an event this week and someone entered the building that triggered a really strong negative emotional response in me. I started to pray as I felt the tears and an inner turmoil begin to build and thankfully a friend kept the person from coming into my immediate space without me saying a word. I remained prayerful throughout the evening and later, another friend came and got me so that I wouldn’t miss out on a special prayer that was going on in the service. While it is clear that there are still areas that need to be healed in me, it is also clear to me how I am surrounded by God’s Love and protection at all times. His Word says that He won’t allow me to be put to shame (Psalm 22:5). In the midst of a crazy situation, He has truly covered me with His grace and mercy. He allows these hurts to be uncovered so they can be addressed and healed and He lovingly creates a safe space for my healing to take place.
Although my marriage ended with levels of disrespect and betrayal that I could have never imagined, God is faithful. He prepared me in many ways to handle all of this and has promised that He is restoring me to a better life than I have ever experienced. You can learn more about my story and find encouragement and support for yourself at EmpoweredWives.Club.
