In looking over the past year, my family has endured quite a few problems but we have also seen more miracles than ever before. About 1.5 years ago, I left my job of 14 years to move to a new state with my family and launch our publishing company full-time. My husband was blessed with a job that helped with the bills and we managed. Then suddenly, he lost that job. The one paycheck that was reliable and consistent became nonexistent. On one hand, I was happy because my husband was not treated well at his job. On the other hand it was like, “Whoa what are we going to do?” Between that and the joys of making a difference in people’s lives through the publishing and ministry work that we do, I felt like a yo-yo on a string. The lowest points felt like the lowest ever and the highest points felt like the highest ever. On more than one occasion, I have heard the Lord remind me that His desire is for me to be steady – not riding the roller coaster of life and being jerked around by every challenge that arises. With the help of amazing teachers, especially Dr. Jan Kempe of Faithful Hearts and Dr. and Mrs. Frank Summerfield of Word of God Fellowship Church, I learned that a key to remaining steady is to control my thoughts, even when everything I am looking at is chaotic.
This is a bit goofy, but it reminds me of a scene in the The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (with Nicholas Cage). Dave had a little training under his belt and he was in a situation where he had to face a fire-breathing magic dragon. If he didn’t do something quickly, he was probably going to die. In the moment when he was trying to muster up his powers, he remembered what his master told him, “You must clear your mind.” His initial reaction was perfectly understandable – how are you supposed to clear your mind when you are hanging on for dear life and you have a huge, powerful dragon after you? Dave managed to take his focus off of that, clear his mind, and vanquish the dragon.
Many times during the past year, I have felt like that character Dave. I have all the great teachings from wonderful masters of God’s Word. I know it, I trust it, and I believe it. Yet when times got hard, I worried, I stressed, and I focused on the situation instead of clearing those thoughts and focusing on the promises of God. However, towards the end of the year, when the battle was the most intense, I began to apply more of what I knew. I behaved opposite of what my situation would normally dictate. When I needed money, I gave money (read My Money Grows on Trees by Zari Banks). When things seemed to get worse, I declared that I was expecting a miracle. When I barely knew how we were going to obtain basic necessities, I looked at almost empty cabinets and said, “I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor their seed begging bread.”
During those moments I began to access my true, God-given power, and in those moments I saw God move for me and my family. For example, I walked away from that bare cabinet after my confession of faith and found that I just received a payment from a client. Funds were generously given to us precisely when we needed it the most. That is something I never really witnessed before in my life because I have always relied so heavily on what I could do.
It was during a worship service in the midst of our difficult season that I realized I needed to lay all my knowledge and intellect down on the altar and surrender it to God. God of course gave me all these brains and skills, but He did not give it to me so that I could make it bigger than Him, or so that I could make Him my plan B when my original plans failed. One thing we can be certain of is that challenges will come in life. The real issue is how will we respond to life’s situations.
I am off the roller coaster. Every day I am expecting a miracle of God. When I think I don’t deserve for God to do anything for me, I remember what my Bishop said, “He does it because He loves you!” In fact it is already done:
“as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.” 2 Peter 1:2-4
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